Mythinks #17

The Last Metroid #9 - Metroid Prime Pinball - Wasn't Meant to Be

Published: August 12th, 2026

Things I could've named this Metroid review series

On some level, a pinball spinoff for a franchise as relatively self-serious as Metroid feels a little out of touch. Like that arguably, this should feel like even more of an insult than that time they put out a game with a chibi-deformed art style. Like if Naughty Dog actually went and made Unkarted. But I do think two important factors are the reason why this game doesn't live in the same amount of infamy as Federation Force does, as far as Metroid spinoffs go.

For one thing, Prime Pinball didn't release in the middle of a bad drought of Metroid games, the last game coming out being a while ago and being very widely agreed to be doggy doodoo. Quite the opposite, in fact, this game coming out in the middle of, like we said in the previous Last Metroid, Metroid's golden years. The Prime subseries was in full swing, it's only been a couple years since the last mainline 2D title, we had more upcoming games like Hunters as well as the early rumblings of a third mainline Metroid Prime game.

But arguably even more importantly, I think it helps that they took this admittedly unhinged premise and actually went pretty all-out with it.

When the Burrowers are getting Bashed

You could probably call us a bit of a certified Pinball Hater. Just haven't ever been a fan, personally, and video game pinball over the years has done very little to change that. We straight up just kind of recoil in disgust every time Sonic spontaneously turns into pinball, even. And maybe there is biases involved, but I do think Metroid Prime Pinball is easily the most I've enjoyed myself with video game pinball.

I wouldn't be able to comment on things like ball physics, table design, things that pinballheads would be able to point at. It has its moments where the ball ricochets out of control and then falls straight between the gap between the paddles with there being nothing I could do to stop it, so it certainly feels like pinball to me. The part that interests me the most is how they actually inject Metroid mechanics into pinball in a way that elevates the experience.

As you'd expect, Samus herself is the ball, spending almost the entire game in Morph Ball form, but with that comes her morph ball bombs ability, which you can use in some instances. Mainly for combat, to deal with the various enemies crawling around the board on occasion, but I can't help but wonder if you genuinely could use the small jump from the bomb to, say, stall a descent a bit, for whatever reason, or finagle a particular angle off a paddle. Much to think about... if I wanted to stick with this game for very long.

Correct

They also insert Metroid enemies quite tastefully, usually being part of little minigame challenges where you're tasked with defeating all the enemies on the board in order to obtain one of the twelve Chozo artifacts. They got Burrowers, Shriekbats, Metroids. Even Triclopses... which only makes sense, in a game like this, but I'm gonna call them evil, despicable people for sticking them in here anyways.

Most kind of them are just hittable nodes that look like bugs, but a decent chunk can actually do damage to you, this being a pinball game where you have a health bar to worry about of all things. Though in all of my attempted runs, I can't say I've ever outright run out of health. I was a lot more likely to just drop the ball in the hole before I was ever in genuine threat of getting actually killed. It certainly adds a lot to the dynamic of pinball to have enemies you can fight.

Imagine you're playing pinball, but your annoying little cousin is throwing pebbles at the table. This is how Metroid Prime Pinball do.

IONO:

I certainly think it helps that the DS is oddly made for having pinball games on it. We're very aware of Mario and Kirby Pinball, which were a lot less manageable thanks to only having one screen to work with, but Metroid Pinball here has the benefit of having the two screens actually take the shape a pinball table would. Minding the tasteful blind spot between the screens.

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I could only really wish that the game had one more normal table on it, the only normal boards being the Pirate Frigate and Talon Overworld, with Phendrana Drifts, Phazon Mines, Chozo Temple, and Impact Crater all acting at least partly as arenas for boss fights. Yes, boss fights, in traditional pinball. Especially since Chozo Ruins is conspicuously absent. And Magmoor Caverns on duty for an optional multiplayer mode.

Imagine if you didn't get missiles until just before fighting Omega Pirate in the original Prime

The game is also pretty smart about the ways it picks and chooses to Metroid-ify itself. With simple little touches, like how the slots that activate little events are morph ball bomb slots, cute. But the game even comes with permanent unlockable item upgrades, like this is a real Metroidvania or something. It's not like it's something required for actual map progress (if there even was a proper map, and not just teleporting between boards once they're "beaten"), they're purely for a little bonus, but hey, it's something.

CHIAKI:

Plus it's only two items, but that's all it really needs. Pinball spinoff, and all that. Power Bombs are kind of a cool way to do a screen clear if you just wanna beat a "kill the enemies" challenge easily, or do a decent chunk of damage to a boss. Plus there's Missiles, which I dunno what I'd do with other than to just get some easy shots on a boss. But hey, neat. Their power feels decently balanced around their rarity as drops.

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"Beetle Blast" sounds like some early 2000s intentionally gross-out kids drink

There's also brief little gameplay distractions, like wall-jumping and these "Combat Ready" sequences where Samus remembers what the X button does and stands her ground in a little gallery shoot-em-up section where you have to shoot down oncoming enemies. Or, alternatively, be able to shoot at a boss however briefly. Decent enough little moments that still feel tastefully arcadey so that it doesn't stop feeling like pinball, despite how much it really isn't pinball, but. Details.

The main reason to do these bonus challenges besides points, of course, is to obtain the twelve Chozo Artifacts, ten of which must be gotten from these little challenges, and two must be gotten from bosses. And thankfully, if an artifact spawns but you, for whatever reason, get booted out of a level, it'll still be sitting in the center of the board to wherever you go to. Thankfully they were merciful, in that regard. God knows I had a momentary scare when an artifact appeared but I defeated Thardus before I could pick it up.

Something that didn't really spring out to child-me is how oddly good Metroid sound design works for a pinball game. Not that it's the most stellar thing ever, but, again, decently tasteful use of sounds from the original. This wasn't developed by Nintendo nor even Retro Studios, instead being made by Fuse Games, who apparently specializes in doing video game Pinball, cause hey, Mario Pinball's right there in their catalog, huh. Either way, it definitely feels like the people making this game were big fans of the original Prime, given how decently well represented and lovingly crafted the prerendered boards are, here.

Hard Riff Acquired

The soundtrack is a bit crunched-midi, but decently energetic. Suits the mood of pinball fair enough. Though I mostly bring it up to share this little tidbit with those that might not know: You know that one rockin remix of the Brinstar theme more famous for being in Smash? It's actually a heavily modified version of this track from this game, of all things. Just the Smash version felt the need to add the weird dialogue, for some perplexing reason.

If the pirates in Prime 2 were afraid at the thought of Two Samus, wait until they find out about: Three Samus

Unfortunately, we do just have a lot of problems with this game. The ball bounces chaotically around the screen at times, making it hard to keep track of. Sometimes the automated chutes will just plunge your ball right into the blind spot between the two flippers. The very fact that there is a blind spot between the two flippers that you can't do anything about, other than the momentary force field. And of course, the fact that they have all this chaos unfold, but nonetheless expect you to survive to collecting all twelve artifacts, beat the artifact temple boss, and then beat the final boss all in one go. Cause of course, it's styled like an arcade game where once you're out of lives, that's it. Not even any continues.

...Just thing is, those are things just inherent to pinball. Well, maybe less the progression end of the game, but still. Which is what I mean by the title of this article, this feels like it should rule as far as video game pinball goes, I'm just at an unfortunate impasse because I just cannot get myself to like pinball. So, I dunno. Maybe if you're both big on Metroid and a bit of a pinball head (y'know, that demographic), give this a try, if you haven't already. Maybe this is peak pinball gaming and I just don't know it, maybe it's a lot more mid to people more experienced in video game pinball.

CELESTE:

That is, sadly, gonna have to mean this is a rare case of a game played for The Last Metroid that we didn't even get to the end of. Not that we couldn't; I'm sure with enough time and stick-to-itiveness, we probably could beat Metroid Prime at the end, but after many a time of getting 11 artifacts only to beef it right at the end, have one run make it to the artifact temple only to fail it at the last possible moment. Yeah, for the sake of leaving this game not on a completely sour note, we're gonna elect to call it quits, there. Just saying it's better to stop playing this while we still like it, rather than to play it so much we get sick of its existence.

Though of course, this is also minding it's kind of hard to play this game "as intended" anymore. See, before mobile games were all that mainstream, all you had for portable gaming were these handheld systems. And a lot certainly were still bigger experiences that could even hold a candle to their home console equivalents, some were a lot more obviously meant to be simpler, more downtime-y type games. Y'know, the type of game you play on the car ride to grandma's house or on the bus on the way to school. Games that kept things low-stakes so that you can stop a game at any time you needed. Sure, there's a "win state", but that's more a bonus, really.

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I don't know why this graphic tickles me so. Probably because I'm a part-time twelve-year-old.

"Game I wish I could love, but couldn't" feels like it should be reserved for games you know are absolutely some type of person's shit, and it just sucks you're not that type of person. Like how I am about beloved cult indies like Void Stranger, Tunic, or Zexion. Uttering such a sentence for something that feels as much like it should be bargain bin bait as Metroid Prime Pinball feels absurd, but it is kind of how I feel. I really do see there being a hella good arcade-cabinet-style pinball game in this, but it's that mere fact that it's pinball keeps it inaccessible to me, which is a little sad. Not as sad as not liking those other games when I see friends that love them so, but y'know. Still disappointing when I can see my ingrained preferences and dislike of a lack of control just kind of getting in the way of something that looks cool, to me.

Like, yeah, to some degree, I am kinda disappointed Metroid Prime 2 never got its own "pinball" version. Maybe that was never genuinely in the cards, and maybe I still wouldn't enjoy it more than thinking it's a neat distraction, but I can't help but think it'd be cool to imagine a what-if for it. And maybe to some degree, that means this game's done something cool. Pumped some positive brain juices around. Oh well.

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VIXI SCORE: 6/10

A neat looker. Has its moments. But I get perhaps unreasonably tense when playing pinball, and that's sadly gonna be a forever-hurtle.

LUNA SCORE: 5/10

A little too frustrating, if you ask me. Neat spinoff with neat ideas, but it just swings for the groin too much for me to enjoy it.

JINX SCORE: 6/10

i certainly can't say i'm a pinball person, either. but it's a decent little jaunt. mainly special in how it takes itself as hard as it possibly can.

IONO SCORE: 6/10

We're mostly in agreeance here, I guess. Lights flash and brain feel good. Ball fall and brain feel bad. Pbbbth.

CELESTE SCORE: 6.5/10

Would be nice to turn back the clock to 2005 to play this more like how we played it as a kid for the purposes of this, but alas. It's pretty cute, just wish we didn't have to play it after a 40 hour work week wore on our nerves.

CHIAKI SCORE: 6.5/10

Heh. Had worse times with games like these. It's far from my ideal type of score-chasing nonsense, but it could've been there.

GAIL SCORE: 5/10

Meh. More tiring than fun. I recognize we can't really play it in its ideal environment anymore, but it was still a little annoying from what I remember about our childhood.